Hitting a bad Patch

A Hallx50 resident has once again, failed to intimidate a black cat - some 50 times smaller than the aggressor.

Jasen Teng (not his real name), has been known to appear fierce to cats, and has scared off one victim in the past.

In tonight's incident, Teng - also known as "loser" to his hallmates - was seen by eyewitnesses jumping around the corridor at 2am in the morning in an attempt to scare away Patch, a short-tailed black cat. Patch was unmoved by all the commotion, and seemed mildly amused by a fumbling person dancing in front of him.

"I thought you humans are supposed to be a more advanced race than us cats," said Patch, when approached later. "But from the looks of the idiot who tried to scare me I think I can start my mission to dominate the world soon."

Felicia, 2, was Teng's first and only victim, she said: "I was scared away by him because I saw his jiggling moobs, it was such a terrible sight."

"How can anyone recover from such a trauma?" she added, a single tear rolling down her dark cheeks.

While Teng is still at large, he is not known to pose an immediate threat to cats around. Eyewitnesses have reported that Teng has an extremely poor aim - he tried to throw a clothes-peg at Patch once, from a distance of less than a long ruler. He failed.

Nonetheless Hallx50 advises the public to not to panic when Teng is spotted in the act, instead they should stick around for a potential good joke.